DATING

Well I am going to try on line dating again. It has been a year since I was in this kind of thing. I really wasn't ready. I did have one date, a woman from Buffalo. Very nice woman, but I sensed she wanted a little more than I did at the time. So I canceled the dating service and never called her. I am sure I caused her pain and I am so sorry for that. Relationships seem to lend themselves to pain. They may seem perfect for a while, such as when you are "in love" but invariably that apparent perfection gets disrupted as arguments, conflicts, and dissatisfaction of some sort. Then the Love relationship becomes a love / hate relationship. It seems to happen like a flick of a switch. Was it love in the first place, or just addictive grasping and clinging. This seems to be Romantic love, not true love. That has no opposite. Its also little harder to find. I'll just take my time, it is what it is.

Already I emailed several woman of various ages from 40 to 48 and only one at least emailed me back that we had nothing in common. I actually thanked her for a reply. The commonality is so vague and impossible to really dispute. It is only a frame of reference. We can only judge people by what they do and or say. There is no other way. That is the "sign" that a person is this or that. So on the on-line post there is the written word and maybe a picture. Mannerisms do not exist. The plane is 2D.

To me the picture is very important. The smile, hair style, head tilt is very important. Two out of three of my pictures are not blurry or too close. The third one is outside at the stadium. Its not blurry or too small, it is just a non posed pic. All the lighting is pretty good and one can get a pretty good idea of what I look like. Some of the woman I looked at and even emailed had a variety of pictures. A lot have very bad lighting and are blurry. Some are done very well but few. Some have pics of things other than themselves. If you are presenting yourself in this venue, you better have a fairly good picture and more than one.

Another thing is what you write. On my post, I try to tell a little about myself in a short paragraph: http://www.plentyoffish.com/member11196197.htm

I try to write enough for some woman who wants to meet me, that there is something to write about. Some of the women I see leave little to write about. Some do a good job. I try to write is a way to find some commonality in what is presented. It is not easy, but actually fun to do.



As an example, one pretty woman asked for a "Tall Man with nice shoes". So I wrote this:



Six-two, with plenty of soul

Hello,
Tall man for a tall woman, good shoes for a lot of hiking and walking. We could be looking for the same pot of gold, someone to enjoy life with. I like movies too. Usually action, but occasionally warm-hearted ones. I just sold off some of my father’s antiques. (He died last year.) I still have a few tables and a wicker chest. What can I say about intimate evenings? It is a time when get to know each other. It is a time to be absolutely present. The greatest gift you can give to a person is to listen, not judge, and give the fullest attention to that person.
I am new to on-line dating too.
I know you are looking for a long-term relationship, but in order to get there from here, is to begin with a first date. What you purpose, drink, coffee and desert are absolutely wonderful. I have been through Williamsville but do not know what would be a good place to do just that. Feel free to suggest. Hope to hear from you.
Regards
Jim





So far she has not responded. At least she did not delete the message, yet.



I have not received any replies to my post yet. Well at least I don't think I did. I do get ads about single places which I could have been confused about. I will look at there a little more closely when I get another one.